Where You Are Now...

We had our 12 month (1 year) checkup with Dr. Stacy. Things went great! You are both doing wonderfully and she is more than pleased with the progress you have made this year. She couldn't believe that you were both one already.

Your 1st Dr. Appointment (outside the NICU)

(Londyn left Livia right)

Almost a year later.

Specifics on the Stats... 

Drum Roll Please...

Londyn Paige

Weight: 18lbs 9 oz. (13%)

Height: 28 1/4 in. (24%)

Head Circumference: 18 1/2 (85%)

Baby Girl, you have a big old brain in there!!!

Livia Grace

Weight: 16lbs 7 oz. (1%)

Height: 27 1/1 in. (9%)

Head Circumference: 17 1/4 (17%)

Baby Girl, you are little & petite!!!

You both absolutely love each others company. You enjoy playing with each other and even find a way to work out your problems. You take turns being the bully and you both fight for what you want. You travel in a pack, where one goes, the other is soon to follow. I love watching you interact and play with one another, I can tell that you already love each other so very much.

You both LOVE the outdoors and our walks.

Books, one of your FAVORITES!

Baa Baa... Your very FAVORITE!!!

Fun Facts!!!

Londyn Paige

You are about as ornery as they come. My little ham. You absolutely LOVE to laugh, it is either straight from the gut and even sometimes fake. You love to mock people, whether it is the sounds they make, coughing, or blowing bubbles. You love the camera and will turn it on when you see that red light. Full of personality and downright funny. I absolutely love your personality, every bit of it.

Words: Dada, Mama, Baa Baa

Your Loves: jewelry, books, instruments, dog bowl/food, TV (I limit this one), cell phones, stacking rings

Favorite Foods: cinnamon crunchies, Mac & Cheese (you scream when I start making it), carrots, and ravioli, animal crackers.  

Fear: The swings and quick movements if you aren't in control or with someone you trust.

Weird Interests: Hair, you love hair, on people, the dog, or on the ground. It's hilariously strange and I

love it.

You love to cruise around the house on your knees. You honestly aren't too interested in walking. You can get where you need to go by quickly crawling and you are okay with that. 

You still take a bottle but we are working at transitioning to a sippy cup and you are doing well.

Sweet girl I love you, you are so special to me. I love the dynamic that you have brought to this family. You always keep me on my toes. You are just like you daddy and so of course I absolutely love that!!! I love when you crawl up my body, squeeze my neck, and bounce uncontrollably. You are perfect, to me. I love you more and more each day.

Livia Grace

You are an absolute lovebug. You could be held 90% of the day and be content. You hug everyone and love to give kisses. You are pretty quite but recently you have learned how to throw a tantrum, so that's been interesting. You are my little lover and you love to snuggle with me. When you are sitting next to me or daddy you always gently lay your hand on our arm or leg. You are very affectionate and I love that. I love every bit of who you are.

Words: Dada

Your Loves: BOOKS, anything that makes noise, cell phones, remote controls, dog bowl, baby dolls, the swings

Favorite Foods: Everything, you are a chow hound. cinnamon crunchies, carrots, green beans, animal crackers, ravioli,   

Fear: You haven't showed any yet. Although, a few times you have woken up and are crying so I think maybe you had a bad dream.

You are thinking about walking. You love to stand up and hold on to things. You also love for me to walk behind you holding your hands, I think you will be walking soon!

You still take a bottle but we are working at transitioning to a sippy cup and you HATE it!

My little lovebug, l I love you and you are so special to me. I love your sweet heart, how you already love others, and you love your mommy. You are so sweet and I love the crinkle in you forehead and chin when you shoot me that sweet smile. You are perfect, to me. I love you more and more each day.

Happy Birthday Babies!!!

Day Four: Thursday April 30, 2009
I honestly don't remember many details of this day. Until the chaos of my true labor began. I do know that I was given breatheen as much as allowed and that was safe for you. Daddy had to go to work today and Mimi, Memaw, and Trudy and I sat in the hospital room all day. We watched T.V. and I dozed in and out of sleep. I think at this point we all knew you were about ready to meet your mommy & daddy.

I do remember around midnight, my nurse Stephanie (who was probably about 21, she seemed so young) came in and told me that they were having a code red. What's this? Oh, just a little tornado alarm. I was informed that they might need to push me out into the hall in order to keep me better protected from the weather. I remember telling Allen, really... is there that much of a difference in the hall than in here? Well, instead of being moved into the hall, I went into full fledged labor.

Day Five: May 1, 2009: 

Your Arrival

It was around 2:30 a.m. and my contractions were intense, and that is an understatement. Daddy stood next to me, on my left side holding my hand. I would squeeze his hand, get through the contraction and say, "Allen, it hurts so bad!" He would apologize, and he would look at me with helpless eyes, I could tell that he wanted to take the pain away.  After about 6 or 7 sets of those intense contractions, Stephanie (my nurse) came in and asked, "Are you feeling those?" Yes, I simply stated. She shut the door and walked out. After what felt to be hours later, probably 15 minutes, she came back into my room and said... "Dr. Kallenberger wants me to check you."

(This picture was taken on Day 1)

So, she did. After "checking me" I remember her frantically opening the door and shouting for another nurse, she checked me, and then a third nurse checked me. Yes, three nurses. Stephanie looked at me and said, "You are dilated to a 10 and fully effaced." For those of you who haven't had a baby, they were about to fall out of me... not really, but kind of. This should explain the pain.

She called Dr. K, he said to get ready to have those babies. Allen made the calls and everyone was on their way. At this point, I think it was about 3:45 a.m.

I remember that everything was happening so quickly and I did not even have time to feel scared about the labor. I remember feeling guilty because I did not make it to 34 weeks, I wanted to do this for you so badly. I knew that if we made it that far our chances of bringing you home were so much higher. I desperately wanted to coddle you both in my arms. I wanted to learn your every move and every cry and be the one and only person you depended on. Selfish, I know but this is what I felt. I, your mom, carried you in my belly for 7 months and I could not bare the thought of having you away from me, not even for a moment. 

The anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. Throughout my pregnancy this was my biggest fear. I honestly did not feel a thing. I truly think that my body had become numb to the prick of a needle. 

Your family began to arrive. Each person looked as if they had just walked out of their bed and into my hospital room. They were so eager to meet you, hold, you, hear you, and love you. Memaw called and started a prayer chain. Londyn and Livia, if you knew the amount of prayers that were prayed for your safe arrival, you would be amazed. In the womb, you were already so loved.

The NICU team entered the room. Six nurses, 5 females, one male, two baby beds beds, oxygen tanks, and many other things unknown to me. Memaw sat on the couch, Daddy at my head, holding my hand, and mimi at my knees, holding my left knee back.

On the other side of my door and in the hall were your family and friends. In my memory this is a beautiful picture. There were 10 to 15 people out there, listening for your cry, anxiously anticipating any news, praying for your arrival. I know, that they were scared and unsure of what was to come. But they had faith.

Among the people outside the door stood Dr. K, he waited for his cue to enter. My water never broke and therefor, Stephanie had to break my water. She informed me to start pushing. With my eyes closed, I pushed, over and over and over again. Nothing. The NICU nurse, Nancy, (who was amazing) turned around grabbed my right hand and knee and talked me through the pushing process. We began to make some progress. She was my saving grace.

Dr. K walked in, coffee in one hand and his hair a mess. He said, calmly, "okay let's go!" again, I pushed and pushed and pushed. He stated, "Natalie, look at me!" I opened my eyes, wider than I thought possible and listened. He said, and I quote. "I need you to push, like you haven't pooped in a year!" And, I did. 

4:55 a.m. 

Londyn, you cried. I heard you cry. 

Dr. K stated, "This one is going home." I quickly blurted out, Is she okay, is she okay? I was instructed to push again.

I did.

4:57 a.m.

Livia you cried. I heard you cry.

Again, I blurted, "Is she she okay?!?

They quickly began examining you both. 

Londyn Paige you weighed 3lbs. 14oz.

You were beautiful.

Livia Grace you weighed 3lbs. 8oz.

You were beautiful.

Londyn your apgar was a 9 and Livia yours was an 8. You did great!

Livia, you began to show some distress in breathing so they hooked you up to oxygen and within 5 minutes you and your sister were out of my sight. You and Londyn and your daddy were headed to the NICU. While this took place, Dr. K was stitching me up.

To this day, I am not sure what was going on in the NICU. I am told you were being admitted and hooked up and they were going through standard procedures to ensure that you were stable, healthy and in a womb like environment. It was time for you to finish growing. 

As I laid in my room, I laid there alone. I closed my eyes and prayed to my gracious God. I asked him to hold you when I couldn't and to help you feel my love through him. I thanked him and begged him to take care of you. I asked him for faith and to give me strength that I did not think I had. I told him I loved him and asked him to not allow me to be angry with him if this journey we were about to begin was hard. I trusted him and prayed for you. I laid in that bed, helplessly and I silently prayed this over and over and over again until I fell asleep. This is a prayer that I prayed everyday until you were both home. And then I had many more new things to pray for. 

God listened and in his time, he answered every one of my prayers.

He took me and daddy on an unbelievable ride. He rocked my world, literally. I sat in that NICU room with you both everyday, all day, for 30 days. I loved you and longed for you more and more each day. Not one day went by that I did not sob for you. Everyday I fell more in love with you.

Londyn and Livia, you have changed my life. You make me better. I love you in a way I have never loved before. I promise to love you everyday for the rest of my life. Thank you God for choosing me to be the mother of your sweet baby girls. You chose me for them, and I am forever grateful. You are so good. 

Happy 1st Birthday!!!
I will post their Birthday Celebration soon...
Stay Tuned!!!

I love you all, thank you for reading and following our journey. Thank you for you support and kind words. I am so thankful to have good people in my life. I can't wait for what year two has in store for us, it is going to be great. All My Love!!!

Happy Birthday Week!!!

Day Two: Tuesday April 28, 2009
This was a pretty uneventful day. Your heartbeats were beating strong and my labor had decreased but had not completely stopped. At this point I was getting a breatheen (sp) shot in my hip every two hours. I recieved this until you were born. My magnesium dosage was decreased, I believe they do this so that the drug does not harm you. I began taking phinergan (again) for the nausea that the magnesium caused. I was also on an antibiotic to prevent a bladder infection due to the cathedar and I was having my glucose levels checked like every hour... I had developed gestational diabetes a few weeks before labor started. Needless to say, I was drugged up. The best part... I was able to receive my second round of medicine which would speed up the growth completion of your lungs. This had been my first priority.

We had lots of visitors that day. Of course your Mimi, Memaw, Nana, Trudy, Pa, Bompa, Ray and Keely were there but, you were also visited by Schrag, Avery, Sue, Nick, Jenn, Ash, Court, Chels, Patty, Haley, Andrea, and many others. I have a list for your keepsake collection. Many people brought gifts and goodies. Your Keely came directly after work and she sat with me until 11:00 at night on every night. Sometimes we wouldn't even talk, she would just sit there with daddy. mimi, memaw, nana, and I. My wonderful friends Schrag, Jenn, Ash, and Nick went to my home and finished your nursery for me. You know this is something that I wanted to have perfect for you. I am so thankful for the love and support of all of our family and friends, We cannot thank you enough.

American Idol was on this night, we cheered on Danny Gokey and I sipped on beef broth, lime jello, sprite, and ice chips. On Monday, Dr. K instructed that I not eat ANY solid foods, in case you came. So, I could have beef or chicken broth and all different types of jello. This was my diet for the week. Yummy! I honestly don't even remember being hungry, only thirsty for a diet dr. pepper.

This night, one of Keely's friends Whitney got to be my nurse. She was AMAZING. Totally laid back. She even rolled in an ultrasound machine and let me see you. Your whole family stared at you in awe, it was like we had never seen you before. We were love-struck. She took such wonderful care of me.

That night, daddy slept on the couch again. I think we fell asleep around 11:30. Well, I slept for about 2 hours and then I woke up. Wide Awake. I think the ambien they gave me had the adverse reaction. I am not the type of person that can just lay there in silence so I went to turn on the TV and dropped the remote. Attempted several times to wake up daddy... I yelled his name, threw a pillow at him and nothing (any other night if I sneezed he would wake up) poor guy, he was exhausted. So, I had to call the nurse's station. Whitney came to the rescue. She was so kind, she asked me if I was okay and if there was anything I needed. In that pitch black room, I started to cry and I asked her if she could just sit and talk to me for a little while. We sat there for hours (I swear) and we talked, barely anything about labor, mostly about her boyfriend and some of her relationships. It was exactly what I needed. I was able to escape my worry for a bit, I fell asleep and the next day I woke up, feeling refreshed.

Day Three: Wednesday April 29, 2009
We had decided that Allen should go back to work so that we could save his time for when you came. So, Mimi, Memaw, and Trudy stayed with me for the day. Your Nana also stayed for the most part of that day too.

I remember at one point in the day, Mimi, Memaw, and Trudy went to lunch and Nana stayed with me. I was laying in that hospital bed, no shower, so stinky, and pretty drugged up (not take the pain away drugged up but in and out of it drugged up). I was so emotional this day, I literally pushed tears back all day. One of the sweetest moments was, your Nana was standing on the left side of me tickling my arm, I looked at her, tears began running down my face and I said, "Jody, it's coming, I can feel it." I'm not ready! I was so scared for you. She told me it would be okay and to try not to worry, trust God and pray about it. We decided later that day that she should head home to, we needed her to save her days also.

On this day, my contractions became much more intense. They were longer and more frequent. I remember I had a contraction and the nurse came in and said, "That was a five minute contraction." She showed me on the screen and it was like a full fledged huge mountain.

Daddy got there around 3:00 and Keely came around 5:00 (scrubs and all, she came straight from work).  That night we had a fun time in the hospital room. We talked, laughed, and cut up. Everyone (besides me) enjoyed some awesome looking cheese quesadillas (I'm not bitter). I did get to have some super yummy lime jello (this was my favorite). This night felt like a fun night in college where we were just all hanging out. I remember thinking that you girls were probably like, that's our mommy, that loud, somewhat annoying straight from the gut laugh, I think you loved that!

Just like Mommy!!!

Today: Thursday April 29, 2010
We had a FUN night! I wanted to do a fun activity with you so I put my self in your shoes... If I were Londyn & Livi what would I want to do? Easy, play in the dog bowl. So, I got a big mixing bowl, filled it up with water and got (your favorites) Lilly and Daisy's food bowls. We sat on the back porch and I let you do whatever you pleased. You had FUN!!! Laughing, Kicking, Moving, all around.... just like you did in my belly, one year ago today.

Everyday, I wonder how I don't think I could love you anymore, and then the next day I do. More, and more, and more. I love you to the moon and back and then a little bit more. You are my sweet girls, and I know you love your mommy too. God is SO good!

They show their love very differently.

One thing is for sure...

You LOVE each other!!!

Happy Birthday Week!!!

I meant to start this yesterday but my internet was down...
Happy Birthday Week Baby Girls!!!
I LOVE You so very much!!!
Allen & I decided that, as a family, we will celebrate the girls birthday for a week (5 days). We decided that we would do this because I was in labor for a week. Silly, maybe, but it was such a life changing week for us so we believe that each year we will celebrate our girls week long debut. In celebrating we mean, sing happy birthday week, make special foods, play more fun games, and things such as that. Nothing to crazy and outrageous! This week (a year ago today) and the month following it really helped us see how fortunate and lucky we are to have strong, healthy baby girls. Now, almost a year later, I am amazed at how far they have come. By God's grace, these girls are perfect, strong, and healthy. Thank you Jesus.

Shortly after we brought the girls home, I journaled about each day leading up to their arrival. I debated on whether or not this was something I should share but I want it to be in my girls book and I think we often forget about the experience and the moments leading up to their arrival. So, throughout the next few days I will share a few of my "entries" with you. I hope you enjoy reading.



Day 1: Monday April 27, 2009
It was a typical Monday morning. I had a 9:00 doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kallenberger. It was a typical visit. They weighed me, took my blood pressure (it was a bit high but nothing to worry about) and sent me back to listen to your precious heartbeats. Your beats were perfect, I felt completely normal, and daddy and I walked to the checkout desk. In that instant, I turned to daddy and said, “I think I am having a contraction.” Not thinking much about it, we got in the elevator and walked to the car.  

On this Monday, two months before you were due, I was ordered to start stress test to ensure that you were both free from stress. My appointment was at 1:00. We had about three hours to kill so…. Naturally, we (Mimi and I) went to Target. 


While we were inside Target, I kept stopping the cart and saying, “Mom, I think I am having contractions… they really hurt.” Like menstrual cramps and an extremely tight stomach. She asked if we should head to the hospital… I thought I was probably overreacting (like I typically do) and we should wait until 1:00. 

As 1:00 rolled around we went to the labor and delivery floor and checked in. At this point, memaw met us and we waited in the waiting room for what seemed like forever. As we waited, there was a young pregnant girl and her boyfriend waiting to hear their baby’s heartbeat because their doctor was hearing some complications with it. (Minor detail but I distinctly remember talking to her – she was drinking an Arizona tea that of course Memaw talked to her about). I was later called back and I informed the nurse that I thought I might be having some contractions. She hooked me up to a million wires to check for stress as well as contractions. I laid on the table in a very small room with Memaw and Mimi. We all three cut up and talked about what you looked like, if you would have hair, how much would you weigh, would you look alike, etc. About 30 minutes after the stress test, in walked the nurse…with a huge needle and a smile. Did I mention that I was deathly afraid of needles? Well, she informed me that I was having contractions every 5 minutes and that the shot was called breatheen and it helps stop contractions. We had to continue monitoring the contractions for 30 minutes after the shot. At this point, we called daddy and let him know that he should probably come on up to the hospital. Dr. Kallenberger’s nurse came in and informed me that I would either stay at the hospital on bed rest or they would send me home where I could not get out of bed. This is when I began to panic. After the shot ran it’s course she came back in with another shot and informed me that they weren’t stopping and she was going to call the doctor. 


Well, Dr. K wanted the nurse to check my cervix. At this point, I was admitted into a room and we began paperwork and the whole admitting process. When we were settled into a room, the nurse "checked" me (this was extremely painful) she quickly/frantically said, “You are dilated to a 3 and you aren’t going anywhere!”  She had another nurse come in and double check that she was accurate. Ouch... again.

At this point, mommy, daddy, mimi, and memaw all began crying. I asked Mimi and Memaw to give your daddy and I a few minutes alone. Your daddy and I sat in that hospital room hugged and cried. I was so scared because I wanted you to have every opportunity to be healthy and I feared not being able to bring you home with me. I was terrified.  


The nurses swarmed the room, overloading me with information, giving me a cathedar and sticking me with needles. Everything was happening so quickly. The nurse came in and informed me that they were going to put me on a medicine called magnesium. This was an intense medicine and they hoped that it would stop my labor at least long enough so that they could give me the shot that would help your lungs fully develop. At the least; I needed you to stay in my belly for 48 hours. The nurse informed me of what would happen to my body when I took the magnesium. She said, “You will be miserable.” She was right. The magnesium was the worst pain I had felt throughout my weeklong labor. The magnesium made me burn from the inside out, I literally felt as if I was on fire. I felt so sick (like I had the flu) and I was extremely nauseated. The room stayed around 68 degrees – everyone was wearing jackets! I didn’t care how much pain I had to endure, I wanted you to stay in my belly. Grow lungs grow.

Daddy called everyone to let them know what was going on. Daddy, Mimi, Memaw, Nana, Bompa, Keely, and Ray all came to give us their love and support. We all sat in the room and talked, watched TV, and hung out.  


Later that evening, the NICU doctor came in to inform us of what would happen if you came early. She informed us of the procedures, rules, and actions that we needed to take if you came early and went into the NICU. I was so terrified that I could hardly handle myself. I was trembling. My legs were shaking and I could not contain my tears. I was so worried and scared for you. It was never about being scared for myself; I only wanted to ensure that you entered this world healthy and strong. I longed to hold each of you in my arms. I couldn’t wait to hug, kiss, and cuddle you. At one point, I asked the doctor to direct her conversation to daddy because I was about to have an anxiety attack. I already loved you so much and I wanted to do everything I could so that you both came out healthy and prepared for this big world. The last thing the doctor told me was, “Keep those babies in your belly, I want you to make it at least 34 weeks.” At that point, I was 32 weeks. 
 
Everyone left the hospital that night and daddy and I sat and talked about you. We talked about how much we loved you and how excited we were for the journey God was going to take us on. Your daddy was so worried but he put on the strongest face for me. He would remind me to trust God and stay optimistic. He loves you so much.  

As Allen fell asleep, I laid in that hospital bed, eight pillows surrounded me and I prayed. I begged God to keep my babies in my belly, to take care of them, and keep them safe. I also asked him to make me strong. In my gut, I knew it would be a hard journey, I knew that you were going to be early, and I knew I would need him. That night, my motherly instincts kicked in. I knew you would be born on May 1^st. I can’t explain it but, every time I saw the Ghost’s of Girlfriends Past preview, they would show that it would start showing May 1^st and I just had this feeling that this would also be the day that my babies would be born. I was right!

Tuesday, April 27, 20010

Look at you now!!! We had a fun, laid back day today! We had lunch with memaw. mimi, and trudy. You even got a little taste of chocolate mouse... you haven't had any sugar yet (except for your birthday cake pics). Then we went to Sam's to get stuff for your birthday party, which I am SO excited for! Then we went home and played in your playroom. It was a pretty typical night but we sang the Happy Birthday week song to you! I love you! Happy Birthday Week Sweeties!!!